Brangelina Is No More! :/

12 years a slave cheat. It’s over.

 

By now, I’m sure everyone has heard about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s upcoming divorce in Celeb-land. Apparently, Pitt cheated on Jolie with the French actress Marion Cotillard.

See my lips? I’m scarlet woman… keep me away from your men. (Photo by Ian Gavan/Getty Images)

Oh dear.

Some would say it’s karma for Angie’s homewrecking ways and doubtless people are already making Jen jokes, but come on, that’s just sad, folks.

 

Cue the Jennifer Jokes… haha, not really funny.

Brangelina met on the set of Mr and Mrs Smith – a movie about a bored married couple who don’t realise that they are both spies. During the movie, their love and passion for each other rekindles. Many people noted in the film Brad and Angelina’s red-hot chemistry in the movie.

Love at first sight: Brad and Angie in happier days.

 

So, it’s ironic that history repeated itself when Brad and Marion play another couple in his latest flick Allied, who have the hots for each other.

Get a room lovebirds… oh wait, they did.

Now I’m not a huge fan of Angelina, new was and never will be, but you have to agree with me that Brad is a major sleaze ball. As the saying goes, once a cheat always a cheat. And sadly (ok, scratch that, I don’t even care!), Angelina came to that realisation. Although, she’s has a history of stealing guys.

In this case, the true blame falls very much on Brad and that cheating skank Marion, who always has this perpetual sneer on her face.

I can see the vague similarity between Meh Marion and Angie. They’re dark haired, have similar pale colouring, full lips, grey/blue eyes. Except Marion is shorter. If Brad thought he was trying to have an up-grade with Marion then he failed in that department.

Marion herself is in a long-term relationship with some French guy Guillaume Canet, who is famous in his home country. Canet has the typical weasely features that typify the French male ideal of handsome or sexy.

Poor sod; so oblivious to what goes on in the mind of his partner…

Maybe Marion was trying to do her own upgrade; after all, if we’re being honest, her career has faded since her Oscar win for La Vie En Rose. She probably planned to use Brad to further her career since the last Hollywood movie anyone saw her in was The Dark Knight Rises (and how long ago was that!).

Both Brad and Marion are in the wrong with their adulterous antics. How could they do that to their kids? (Marion has a 4 year old child with Canet).

Pathetically, Pitt is still trying to live a wild lifestyle and be a Peter Pan figure. From news reports, at the age of 50-something, Brad is still smoking weed, riding motorbikes and dying his hair. Apparently, Angie couldn’t stand his relaxed parenting style and his constant need to renovate their house in France. Cut it out, Brad. You’re no spring chicken, you’re a bloated middle-aged dude going through a mid-life crisis.

Not so fresh-faced and boyish now, eh, Brad?

However, I believe two things signalled death toll for Brangelina’s marriage:

1. They got married in the first place.

2. They starred in Angelina’s movie By The Sea playing another dumb couple going through marriage problems. Smart. Real smart there, Angie.

 

Will this mean that Jen will get a divorce from Justin now? If I were her, I wouldn’t want Angie’s leftovers.

WOW, this month has been crazy. Hiddleswift over. And now Brangelina. Who next? Boring Wills and Kate? Maybe… Kimye? Mwahahah.

Someone save Kanye from this Kimbo… 😛

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WHICH CELEBRITY COUPLE WILL SPLIT UP NEXT, PEOPLE. LEAVE A COMMENT. AND FOLLOW ME FOR DAILY POSTS!  🙂