So, I’m not really feeling the heat today – in the sense, I actually hate the summer. I don’t know why it has to be this hot in London. I planned to go out today but it seems kind of late and I just can’t face the prospect of putting on some pants (trousers) and going outside, only to come back kind of exhausted.
So, I think I’m getting over my exposure to Tox. It really helped me just bitching about her to be honest. I mean “who is she?”. No one.
So I’ve been job hunting to occupy my time – I found a few interesting ones. Unfortunately, I realised that they want REFERENCES! Oh dear. I mean I wasn’t an asshole in university. I think the lecturers know me – scratch that, they would know me, there can’t have been many people wearing a fucking plaster cast to their lessons. I’m actually laughing because I wasn’t exactly the best student. I came in but I wasn’t interested. That doesn’t even matter though. It’s really the name value of the university why I went in the first place. And as a matter of fact, I did learn about different disciplines because the course consisted of a mixture of psychology, sociology, philosophy and even FILM STUDIES. Not that I’m insulting film studies, mind you, but what the honest f… No, I won’t say anything. Ugh….. Probably I’m not the only one who thinks it’s a waste of time.
Which brings me onto my next topic. The lecturer who taught that whole film studies module. Okay, let’s just call him Professor Presley – this guy was apparently popular among the students. Presley is like the equivalent of the ‘golden professor’ on my course – mostly everyone knows this guy and goes on about him for whatever reason.
Okay, so I went into maybe… 2 of his lectures? I didn’t really think much of his lecturing style – if I’m being honest, he literally left NO IMPRESSION on me. That could have been because I didn’t attend (I was in a bad frame of mind) or I just thought the whole film studies module was kind of… useless? Mixture of both probably? I did attend the seminars though, but that was with another tutor and they were more extensive, so that’s why I didn’t bother with Presley’s lectures. Anyways all turned out good in the end as I got a quite a high mark in that module, to my honest surprise (literally, just checked the module homepage instructions on how to write the essay and just spewed out some ‘creative’ interpretations on the films they forced us to watch in class ad nauseum and which I had to also watch at home rewinding the main scenes and such. But Presley always seemed to crop up throughout my degree like one of those annoying fads people going on about. Not saying that I thought he was annoying. I just genuinely did not know what the fuss was about since his lectures hadn’t impressed me, so I thought I could be doing better things with my time… like sleeping ahaha.
In the second year, I took another one of Presley’s philosophy modules. Again, I didn’t bother with attending any of his lectures, but I got friendly with my seminar tutor – he’s really nice. The PHD students are great to have, not just because you can get away with low attendance and such, but because their egos haven’t become hardened unlike some professors. The mistake I was was changing my time as I literally just got lost trying to find the new room in the mornings. I should have just stuck with the afternoon slot for convenience because of my injury because I would have probably got better groups marks which might have pushed my overall grade up for that module. Ah well. Shit happens. In the new seminar class, I didn’t know anyone bar one girl who I’d got friendly with in a previous module. I managed to get into her group but we performed badly in the project. We were the last group to present. Presley was just sitting there silent – didn’t ask us ANY questions like he did with all the groups before us. The other two girls (both Chinese) were as lost and unprepared as me. After the presentation, they said they were worried because Presley hadn’t asked us any questions in the Q&A. People, if you have to do a presentation in the future make sure you know that there will be a Q&A and that you’ve read up on it the day before instead of improvising like me by saying “But they eat dogs in Korea” as your counterargument to whether it is ethical to eat animals. The group leader, that girl, despite being the leader, basically messaged us on the morning of the presentation and said she had stomach pains. She said she’d emailed Presley saying she had stomach pains and he was fine with it. OH NO SHE DIDN’T. She’s a lovely girl, but I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, Presley is the type who is super sensitive, like most teachers. He may have accepted her excuse, but our presentation marks were abysmal, so in other words, he DID NOT accept her excuse. Unless she had a hospital note, then no siree. WHAM BAM THANK YOU, MAAM.
I hadn’t really spoken to him in those two years, bar once. How that occurred was like this: one of the few times I managed to find my philosophy seminar class’s room, I came in… late. I was tired and confused as fuck – in those days I had a painful limp, so I chose to sit next to the wannabe gossip geek table (composed of one of Presley’s fangirls – she’s thirty so make of that what you will and he’s much much older). The other tables were just full of the other cliques who spend their time just staring like zombies into their laptops during lectures browsing shopping websites because these girls are obsessed with retail therapy. I wasn’t really up for being ‘distracted’ – I decided it was probably safer to just sit at the front ahaha.
Presley was just sitting at the back of the room, notepad on his lap and just being a general non-presence in my university experience. God, I’m mean. Ahaha. Anyway, I was bored – I can’t remember what the topic was on since I hadn’t done the reading. I’d already picked my question topic based on the first seminar I’d attended, so I thought it would be a waste of time and energy just reading up on topics I didn’t have much interest in. In those days, I was trying to survive. I still think my study strategy and methods were very smart… or I was some kind of unconventional genius? So, my seminar tutor looked kind of scared because Presley was assessing his teaching, I think. Then it was break time and basically Presley mentioned something about “how there was a cafe nearby if anyone wanted to get a drink” so people left the room to do their thing. Then he asked if anyone had attended some extracurricular philosophy lecture the day before. I had, so my hand shot up. I don’t even know why because it was boring as fuck – I couldn’t make heads or tails of what the lecturer was talking about or the questions the Postgraduate students were posing at him. I’d asked him a really simple short question in contrast to their long-winded display of pretension represented in their questions which literally lasted for 10 mins a piece. I think some of them thought they were budding lecturers. Who knows. It was interesting just to observe and see how dedicated and interested some of these students were in contrast to the ones on my course. I think the older you are, the more your brain is developed and you take opportunities and such more seriously. I guess that’s one of perks of growing older.
So, going back to Presley and co. Presley’s fangirl (let’s call her Fanny), well, she instantly tried seize on that little tidbit, turning to me, whence previously she wasn’t interested in hearing what I had to say.
“Oh, I wanted to go to that, but I couldn’t. What was it like?” She said.
I was thinking “you can’t be serious” – she doesn’t seem the type who is even interested in going to extracurricular lectures as evidenced by her conversational abilities and the reek of social climber emanating from her. Fanny just hangs around the rich guys or just guys and thinks she’s the shit. She goes on about her child’s ballet classes – she was a teenage mum, so I basically she’s very hung up on proving she doesn’t fit the ‘stereotype’. I don’t know. Just understand that she’s part of the gossip crew, so my perceptions are basically based on that. Maybe she’s a nice person to her mates, but meh. Her voice is annoying. Ugh.
I told her that I couldn’t really comment on the lecture. She started going on about her vegetarianism, by then my mind was tuning out. So my seminar teacher is sitting at the front listening to us. And Presley comes out of nowhere, much to my shock, and bends his head forward over my shoulder and barks out “how was it like”
My mouth is just gaping because I DID NOT expect him to ask me this. My inner thoughts just consisted of “Oh shit. Shitty shittity shit. Shiiiiiiit.”
I managed to say “You know, the lecturer? Well, he met this famous philosopher”. My seminar tutor just stifled a grin, while Presley just flounced off, throughly unimpressed, probably considering me a dunce of the higher order… oops, I guess?
More about Presley tomorrow. To be continued…
Here’s the take-away: attend your lectures – it’s very important in the long run when it comes to getting references.