So, I had to restart my journalling because I broke my habit of attempting to journal every day. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

I forgive myself. I aim to get further than four days next time.

I went to a book club meet up this evening for the first time in my area. It was ok. The people seem ok. They were mostly middle-aged to older white people, so I felt a teensy bit awkward ahaha since I was one of the few non-white people there in their twenties. LOOL. Only coloured girl in the village vibe. XD Also it wasn’t just me – there was a black/brown guy in his thirties who came way later, so I felt like “wow, I am not alone!”

The bookclub lacked structure too because it just seemed like people were jumping over each other and I was thinking ‘oh christ. what the fuck. how would i get the opportunity to actually contribute something?!?! in this environment?!?!”

Also, how are all these people able to be energetic between 8pm and 10pm on a sweltering summer night while I’m actually struggling to even keep my eyes open. Respect to them.

I’ll give it another go – this time I’ll read the book (it’s on my kindle) and actually eat a bigger dinner. Today was really just an opportunity for me to see how the book club was like and the type of members who attended. It was nice.

Next time I might bring notes with me because being in that sort of “everyone jump in” environment actually stresses me out as an introvert.

Goodnight.